We need to talk about facial hair. And when I say ‘we’, I mean you and I today, but also in the wider societal sense.
Lots of us have wiry chin hairs or recurring upper lip fuzz, and many of us choose to remove it (or don’t – your call) But the beauty conversation barely acknowledges this, so we’re expected to constantly, secretly shift everything sprouting south of our eyebrows like some 1950s housewife waking up 15 minutes before her husband to ‘put a face on’.
It can get tiring. But the good news is younger generations are saying, stuff that. I shouldn’t have to pretend not to be a human with hair and spots and periods – and this has opened up all kinds of long-overdue bodily discourse, notably around menopause. Can the same be done for facial fuzz? I’ll be the first to hold the floor…
I’ll lead by example and say I have both of the above: Two thick jawline stragglers that I honestly love because they are so satisfying to pluck out, plus a bit of a ‘tache in the corners of my upper lip that I don’t love at all. Your facial hair removal might focus on those or something else, like downy cheek fuzz. Everything is fine and normal, and it’s also normal to notice more of it as the years go by.
With age, particularly as hormonal changes kick in, hair tends to thin in the places we’re told to want it, like our heads, and ramp up in the places we’re told not to want it, like our faces. Gosh, it’s almost as if some larger force wants us to spend as much energy as possible battling inevitable changes to our looks just as we come into our most wisdom-filled, powerful time of life, eh?
Anyway, I’m not here to say whether you should play by the patriarchal rules. But if you choose to, then you might as well make it easy with the best kit. And what a bit of kit I have for you today, designed by the most trustworthy beauty tool makers going, Tweezerman:
Yep, it’s a razor, and I love that Tweezerman plainly says that. You’ll see a lot of these sold as ‘dermaplane tools‘ for skin exfoliation, which reminds me of that episode of Sex and The City when Samantha tries to return her best vibrator to a hardware store who insist they don’t actually sell sex toys and that it is, in fact, a neck massager.
No such coyness here; this is a precise, single-blade razor that quickly and cleanly shifts small or large areas of facial hair. There’s no mess, pain or smell (even the best depilator creams stink like Satan’s gymbag). This thing is built to last in weighty stainless steel with three spare blades, and it’s refreshingly non-techy; you don’t have to charge it, scan a QR code or download an app – just pick it up and swipe.
Ultimately, that’s how maintenance-focused beauty practises should be – so easy they’re a non-event. Save the complicated rituals for the glamorous stuff we do because we enjoy it.
The hardest thing about this might be getting over some pre-conditioned ideas about using a razor on our faces (yes, women can do it too. No, the hair doesn’t grow back thicker) But if I can publicly discuss my wiry chin hairs and the pleasure of tweezing them, surely we can work through that mental block together too. Sound good? Great! Let’s chat next Sunday.
