The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 05.09.87
Your hosts are Joe Pedicino & Gordon Solie
And it’s off to the UWF to start with a biggie!
UWF World title: One Man Gang v. Big Bubba Rogers
Joined with Bubba dropping a leg on the Gang, who is busted open. They slug it out and Gang puts him down with a clothesline. Gang goes up to finish, but misses a flying splash and Bubba also goes to the top rope, hits his own flying splash, and pins him to win the UWF title to a gigantic babyface pop while Jim Ross loses his mind. But then later in the show, Skandor Akbar reveals that he bought the services of Bubba to test Gang’s mettle and the Gang FAILED the test, so now Bubba is his #1 guy and Gang is fired. So much for that babyface reaction for Bubba.
Meanwhile, Michael Hayes joins us from Dallas and he wants the promoters to get off his case about Terry Gordy being out of control. Also he sees some troubles between Terry Taylor and Chris Adams.
International match of the Week: Beef Wellington v. Johnny Smith
From Stampede of course, joined with Beef (who was a heel at this point, early in his career) putting Smith down with a knee to the gut and then hitting him with a legdrop for two. Johnny gets a small package for two and a sunset flip for two. Beef goes up and Smith slams him off and follows with a missile dropkick, and then pops right up to the top rope with a pump splash for two. Slam gets two. Beef goes for a monkey flip off a criss-cross, but Smith cradles him and pins him. Really good action here.
Off to Memphis for some peak Memphis…
Chain match: Jerry Lawler v. Austin Idol
We’re in the Mid-South Coliseum for this one, with Idol throwing a fit about having to wear the chain while the referee attaches him, and in the meantime Lawler slips his chain and locks it to the top rope, leaving Idol helpless. That’s amazing. So Idol freaks out while Lawler pulls another chain out of his tights, knocks Idol out, and pins him to win the Southern title. “That’s how you have a chain match, Memphis style!” notes Lawler after the win. THIS WAS GREAT. It wasn’t even a match and didn’t need to be.
Off to Dallas for the fallout of the 87 Parade of Champions…
Bruiser Brody chats with Bill Mercer about his win over Jeep Swenson, and gives Red River Jack’s boot to Joe Pedicino because Jack couldn’t be here today. Also Brody reveals that the contract he signed, letting him come back for one day, had a special clause because Gary Hart DIDN’T READ THE FINE PRINT and now Brody is back in World Class for good. You never really hear Brody doing promos from this time and he just stopped by and did this amazing one here and he was hilarious.
Mud Pit match:
We’ve got six women from GLOW and World Class, and Percy Pringle is the special referee. And yeah, there’s a swimming pool with mud in the middle of the ring and Candi Divine ends up wining, and Percy ends up in the mud.
Meanwhile, Gary Hart interviews Pedicino and Mercer after the show, and Gary is pretty convinced that Red River Jack was actually Bruiser Brody, but the announcers deny any knowledge of his identity. And Jack left after that, so we will sadly never know the truth.
To the AWA…
Kevin Kelly & Buddy Rose v. Jim Edwards & Mike Richards
Kind of an odd pairing. Joined with Rose taking a bump to the floor while Sherri consoles him, and Kelly tosses Richards to the floor for some abuse out there. Back in the ring, Richards fights back, but Kelly NAILZ him with a backbreaker and then hauls in Edwards for a suplex. And he finishes with an elbowdrop.
Gorgeous George v. Chief Don Eagle
Second fall of the Mat Classic from last week, as we’re back in the 50s. George gives him a noogie on the ropes, but Eagle fights back and then misses a charge, landing on the floor, resulting in a countout loss.
Off to Crockett…
Bob Armstrong, Brad Armstrong & Tim Horner v. Ric Flair, Lex Luger & Tully Blanchard
From NWA Pro. Joined with Bob and Brad double-teaming Flair, and Brad gets a backslide for two. Horner comes in and slugs away in the corner, but Flair drops him with a stungun and puts him away with the figure-four while holding the ropes for leverage.
Lex Luger v. Brody Chase
We also get a singles squash from Worldwide, with Luger beating Chase with the torture rack. Later on, Tully Blanchard once again shows off his $10,000 briefcase, and JJ Dillon is so busy that he’s hired a private secretary for Tully. Vince McMahon’s ears just perked up somewhere. Tully claims that “Fifty seven thousand million people” watch the NWA shows every week, which really shows how much ratings have eroded over the years.
Sound Off! With Boni Blackstone!
A fan writes in to ask what happened to Rocky Johnson? He’s in Memphis and half of the tag team champions apparently. Also a kid wants to know Hulk Hogan’s address. You should probably ask the guy delivering the steroids to him at that point.
To the WWF, where Brutus Beefcake is running around shaving heads as a “barber” of some kind. Also, Ken Patera debated Bobby Heenan and it went badly for Bobby. Not as bad as Joe Biden, but pretty bad.
Killer Khan squashes a job guy on his way up to Hulk Hogan, winning with a flying kneedrop.
To Continental…
Continental title: Buddy Landel v. Wendell Cooley
Not to be confused with the AEW Continental title. Joined with Buddy hitting an elbow for two, and he cuts off a comeback by raking Cooley on the ropes. Budro goes to the cravat, so Cooley goes low and makes the comeback. Ref is bumped on a bulldog attempt, but Buddy’s ninja friend runs in and gets chased off by Scott Casey. And Cooley hits the bulldog on the second try and pins Buddy to win the title.
Bill Apter joins us and he’s FORGOING the ratings this week (WHAT? NO!) and he’s interviewing Misty Blue Simmes instead. She’s pissed off that women don’t get equal time, so Bill tells people to write into PWI and maybe he’ll make sure women’s wrestling gets more time someday. Maybe even 2 matches per week on Dynamite? No that’s ridiculous, no one wants that.
And the WRESTLER OF THE WEEK can only be one man: Big Bubba Rogers. What, not one of the ladies in the mud pit match from earlier? They really are biased against women.
A tremendously fun show this week.
