John Breunig (opinion): I was a pool man. Here's my advice for President Trump – New Haven Register
A U.S. National Park Service employee uses a vacuum pump to clean algae off the bottom of the newly repainted Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool on the National Mall on June 16, 2026 in Washington, D.C.
My wife, Lisa, and I were walking the dog one spring morning with a couple The Kid likes to call “The Scientists.”
The husband inquired about the clarity of the water in our swimming pool.
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“It’s fine,” I replied flatly.
He kept offering to assess it.
“Naah, we’re good.”
This happened to be during a spell when pools in the neighborhood were losing wrestling matches with algae.
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The wife was astonished I didn’t take her husband up on his offer.
“You know he’s a chemist, right?”
“Sure,” I countered, pointing thumb to chest, “but I’m a pool man.”
Cue to Lisa guffawing.
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The first time Lisa expressed interest in my youthful summers as a pool man was when we bought our house. It was the only property we considered that had a pool, and she seemed to recognize an opportunity to keep me occupied.
The second time she started grilling me about the subject was a few days ago, after the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool started to resemble a massive bowl of guacamole for 19-foot Abe to dip his Brobdingnagian apple slices into.
Suddenly, Lisa expressed appreciation for my annual yammering about getting the water moving in our pool before the first heat wave and heavy rainfall so I could hold back the tide of a green lagoon.
But President Donald Trump is no pool man. He isn't even a chemist.
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It was Trump’s decision to have the pool painted “the dark blue of the American Flag!” Any pool man will tell you that dark colors absorb more heat, which can become a breeding ground for algae.
It only took a few days for the presidential seal of paint to start flaking to the surface. It should have been painted a few weeks earlier, when temperatures were cooler.
Maybe Trump was just giving the kiddos a free science lesson.
I am grateful to the president for putting a spotlight on the humble pool man. They are finally getting credit for their expertise on every news channel that needs a talking head to suggest the best methods for clearing the pool of crud in Washington.
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The president found a way to get us to pay more attention to this national treasure during the semiquincentennial. Kind of brilliant, huh? We’ve been taking it for granted for far too long.
I did a backstroke through the newspaper archives in search of trivia about the reflecting pool, which was dedicated in 1922.
Some cynics see the current state of the pool as a reflection of rot in the Trump White House. The president’s best strategy may be to demonstrate that it really is easy being green. If the Statue of Liberty — which had hues of a penny before the copper oxidized (bonus free science lesson!) — can wear green with dignity, so can the rest of America.
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Plus, if Americans didn’t rebel against Ultimate Fighting Championship bouts on the South Lawn of the White House there is no pride left to lose.
Trump may as well lean into it. He can make the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool an even greater tourist attraction by filling it with appropriate animatronic figures: Shrek, Godzilla, Oscar the Grouch (leverage that trash!), Hulk, the Wicked Witch of the West, Kermit, Mike Wazowski, a green M&M (sponsorship opportunity!), the Riddler, Groku, Rex, Slimer, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, anyone who won a green jacket at the Masters (because … golf) and Gumby.
And don’t forget that “Inside Out” character named Disgust.
Mr. President, I heard you blamed the pool goop on vandals Friday. Looks like there’s not enough security in our nation’s capital. I suggest deploying soldiers in the pool with the animatronic figures. They can camouflage themselves to resemble those green plastic army men.
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Trust me, I’m a pool man.
John Breunig is editorial page editor. jbreunig@hearstmediact.com; twitter.com/johnbreunig.
John Breunig is an editorial page editor with Hearst Connecticut Media Group. Having worked as a reporter, photographer, city editor, managing editor, page designer and sports editor, John has started work at every hour of the day at one time or another. His wife cracks wise that as a Jesuit-educated Libra, John weighs all sides and takes far too long to make any decision. Naturally, that has led to his current gig as editorial page editor for the Stamford Advocate and Greenwich Time. As a columnist, he has written about poverty, sexual assault and gun safety, but inevitably gets the most reader feedback to lighter fare about raising The Kid.
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