NEED TO KNOW
- A mom wrote on Mumsnet that she forced her 14-year-old daughter to wear a dress to a church service after the teen wanted to wear a T-shirt and jeans
- The woman explained that her daughter wanted to wear jeans to the church service like her friends did
- “It’s not even that she hates her dress it’s about what everyone else will wear,” she wrote
A mother is feeling guilty after making her daughter wear a dress against her wishes to church.
The woman explained on the community forum Mumsnet that her 14-year-old daughter isn’t happy with her after she made her wear a dress to a church service, when she wanted to wear a T-shirt and jeans instead, like her friends.
“She picked [the dress] and worn many times before … she doesn’t want to wear the dress because all her friends will be in jeans,” the mother wrote.
“In my eyes, it’s irrelevant what everyone does and it’s a sign of respect to the church, the event and other people going,” she continued. “If she had anything else (other than her uniform) even remotely smart casual it would be fine, but she doesn’t. The dress fits her well and she looks great in it.”
The mother said she believes her daughter is mostly annoyed because she wants to fit in with her friends. “She’s not kicking off, but she’s not happy about it either,” she concluded.
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Readers disagreed with the woman’s decision to make her daughter wear the dress to church.
“In your eyes it may be irrelevant, but in your daughter’s eyes it isn’t. Don’t bully her into a dress,” one person replied.
“Wanting to dress like her friends at 14 is completely normal and understandable. It isn’t a character flaw,” a second said, while a third person commented, “At 14, she’s old enough to decide what she wants to wear.”
“I would not make my 14-year-old daughter wear something that she doesn’t want to wear,” another wrote. “At this age, it’s so important that they feel they fit in. If all her friends are wearing jeans, then what is the harm of her wearing them too?”
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The woman explained that attending the church carol service was her daughter’s idea and that she is also taking part in the service, sparking her concern over her outfit.
“I do think you should dress for the occasion and baggy jeans and a Billie Eilish T-shirt are not appropriate for a church carol service where she will be involved,” she responded. “Just like it wouldn’t be appropriate for a wedding, or at a job interview.”
“It makes no difference to her beliefs and religion if she is dressed smartly or not. I think this is more about your feelings/expectations of what others may think /say,” another reader wrote back.
