VIRGIN by Lorde – The Seahawk

The first time I heard the song “Supercut” by Lorde, it was all I could think about for days. It was three years ago — in my Wednesday night contemporary dance class. Even after an hour and a half of ballet lessons, all the tiredness left my body when “Supercut” entered my ears and hit my bloodstream. Lorde made me feel awake and alive and nostalgic for something I hadn’t even felt yet.

Since that day, I’ve been pining for that feeling Lorde’s music gave me — that euphoric, nostalgic, sad, enveloped, warm feeling. The distinct storytelling in Lorde’s music creates such an intimacy for listeners like me. It’s a feeling I can’t get enough of.

When Lorde began teasing singles for a new album earlier this year, I was more than ready to hear her new work. I had just bought copies of her past albums Solar Power and Melodrama on vinyl. My best friend and I were singing “400 Lux” in the car at the top of our lungs at least once a week (usually more). I was ready.

Lorde released her new album VIRGIN on June 27.

The first time I listened to the full album; I sat in the dark. I wrote down my thoughts by the glow of the lyrics displayed on Spotify, in an old notebook with a magenta-colored pencil.

VIRGIN is messy. Intentionally unfinished.​​ Sexual and synthesized. VIRGIN is a retrospective exploration of identity; it’s a synth-pop snapshot of the inner turmoil of a twenty-something year old mind. The album is sonically danceable and lyrically devastating.

The title of the album is ostensibly related to the lyrics of the album’s final track “David.” Lorde sings, “If I’d had virginity, I would have given that too.” The song is heartbreaking, and it’s about giving your all to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Lorde released music videos for three tracks on the album: “What Was That,” “Hammer,” and “Man of The Year.” The music video for “What Was That” was unremarkable and boring compared to the energy of the song. It featured Lorde riding a bike around New York City and then performing to a crowd of people that were filming her singing. While the video might have been a commentary on the plain life Lorde lives in comparison to her stardom, I found it to be dull, and I would not watch it again.

The music videos for “Hammer” and “Man of The Year” were much more visually interesting and felt more connected to the songs. “Hammer” lets viewers take a peek into the chaos that is Lorde’s life. It’s dramatic and fun and messy like the album.

“Man of The Year” and its accompanying music video comprise the pinnacle of the album’s beauty. The song is a breathtaking ode to Lorde’s view of herself as both a man and woman. In the music video Lorde can be seen slowly peeling off a white tee shirt to reveal her bare chest underneath. She then crudely binds her breasts with duct tape and performs a contemporary dance in a room meant to mimic Walter De Maria’s “New York Earth Room” installation. Lorde creates an incredible piece of art that uses the creations of others to help her take a deeper look at herself.

I was also moved by VIRGIN’s emphasis on personal growth in songs like “Broken Glass” and “If She Could See Me Now.”

“GRWM” is ultimately my least favorite track on the album. “GRWM” feels like a cheap copy of other songs on the album that feel more authentic. I was unimpressed by the chorus lyrics of, “Maybe you finally know who you wanna be/ A grown woman in a baby tee.” The song’s chorus was a lackluster delivery of the intensely complicated experience of self-discovery.

While some fans have been vocal on the internet about their hopes for a deluxe version of VIRGIN, I don’t want one. VIRGIN is an album of questions — about her identity, her gender, her body, her past. For Lorde to wrap up this project with a deluxe version of VIRGIN full of answers would be disingenuous.

VIRGIN is an album I could cry to and an album I could dance to. I found the album as a whole to be intriguing and emotionally stimulating. As a woman about to enter her twenties, this album makes me feel excited about embarking on my own journey of identity exploration.